I'm gonna start exam preparation so will not be updating for a while. All the best to me =D

26th March 2010 - Reminiscing

I have been sleeping till noon almost every working day and I must seriously exert discipline on myself and stop procrastinating. I've never imagine myself sitting in the library and write six pages of my thoughts for the past few days. Mr Randy was right in saying: "You can do more than what you think you can". I have to stop being an eeyore and start finding my tigger.

Looking back on my academic records, it seems that I have been scraping through most of the time. Mummy always tell me after getting back the report book: "Son, you are always the last to board the bus. However, you will still be at the same destination with those on board." Whenever I did badly for a subject, I'll tell her: " Mummy, the patient is already dead. No matter how good ya medical skills are, you cannot bring a dead back to life!" Then daddy will look at me like I'm a hopeless kid.

I'm a kid who has a negative Net Present Value and has no Return On Investment if you view it from the financial point. I'm the boy who's always in the first runner up position from the back, scraped through six years of primary school, completed PSLE with a 191 aggregate which allow me to opt to express stream in secondary school. I somehow managed to hang on for the four years in secondary school express stream, scraped through "O" Levels English Language with a C6 and achieve a L1R4 of 18 points, which is just nice for Banking and Finance course in NYP. I've scraped through the 1st year of polytechnic education with four Ds before I managed to wake up from my wonderland and put a stop to the Ds.

24th March 2010 - A Very Enriching Day

I've attended "Am I Good Enough" held at NUS invited by a friend. Do you know your own defectiveness? I was educated that every one of us has 8 core needs. If these needs are not met, it will lead us to 18 life traps which are the causes of defectiveness (schema). It was my first movie therapy experience and it helps me identify problems of the individuals in the movie and how they cope with it. For example, if you have an unpleasant childhood, how do you react to those around you?

There are 3 types:

1. Surrendered (Fright, give in)
2. Avoid (Flight, escape)
3. Counter attack (Fight)

I will love to find out what schema I have. (hopefully not too many).

People always learn through school education which teaches us subjects like Mother tongue, Science, English, Mathematics in primary school education and a lot of other subjects in secondary school to see which subjects are more suitable for each individual before focusing or majoring in a field (e.g. doctors, lawyers or engineers) which is the local education system. However, we have not learn about ourselves. We can hardly score 100/100 for academics but we should know ourselves 100/100, shouldn't we?

Why are you happy?

There are may smart and intelligent people.

But:

- how many of them are happy?
- how many of them are unable to manage their marriage?
- how many of them who are beautiful thinks that they are not?
- how many of them who are millionaires and still think that they are poor?
- how many of them who have degree and PHD thinks that they are stupid?

- and why some people who are poor and still can lead a happy life?

I find all these questions amazing because I have never thought that there can be so many problems involved. Humans are really complicated. It is also very interesting to observe the people around you or even the person talking to you right now and see what schema they have. Have you ever asked yourself why you behave this way?


23rd March


I was having my breakfast while watching Oprah. Today, she talks about a man who lost his wife after giving birth to a daughter and how he start up a blog to let off his pain by typing. Never did he know that the blog attracted some kind hearted souls who gave him gift and some household accessories for him and his baby. This is a very nice and touching situation where we get to see the positive side of a society where one can even share care and concern for a complete stranger. Wouldn't it be nice if we're living in a world with every one of us behaving this way? The man who lost his wife gained my respect the moment he said he started a foundation for widows like him and his reason was to contribute back to the society and give those widows the same benefits he had receive and more. It is not easy especially the first few years and the foundation can assist them out of this crisis.

There was another widow with a son whose husband was annihilated during Iraq terrorist bomb attacks. He kept a diary which was to be given to his son when he was old enough. I will like to get that book which the soldier put his thoughts in that diary. Not many guys keeps a diary and his wife encourages guys to keep one. That's one reason why I'm here typing.

In his diary, there are photos of the baby in his mum's womb, sleeping with his dad and playing with his loving parents. It is very sad that his dad had to leave him when he's still a baby.

As a soldier, he left a letter like every soldiers would to their love ones. He passed the letter to his wife which says: " If I am not able to make it back, I trust that you will keep this diary in a safe place so that when our son grows up, he will know how his daddy looks like and that he has a dad who loves him like any other children".

His diary also has notes to teach his son to be a man, what a man should do and how to respect a woman. His wife compiled the diary into a book called " a diary for Jordan ". I think that although the book was meant for the baby, it will be an informative book for every man to have.


22nd March - Aikido Seminar


After five years of being a aikido practitioner, I'm still in love with its graceful movements. Today, a Japanese 7th Dan Sensei was invited to give a 2 hours training session. It's good to catch up with some of my mates whom I haven seen for a long time. Too bad there's no dinner session this time like the Fukakusa and Tamura Shihan Seminar in 2005. It's a good day after all =D